Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Miscellany Things That Stick In My Craw

People behind me at the grocery checkout who get mad because I'm talking with the cashier annoy the hell out of me. I like to talk to the cashier because I know most of them and while we're waiting for my credit card to be approved and the receipt to print, why not chat? Haters gonna hate. When I purposely park my car under the shade of a tree for my dog and it's at the other end of the parking lot, do you really have to park right next to me where there is no shade? When the light turns green, it means GO, not wait for a color you prefer. Giving me the finger when I let someone out of their driveway as a nice gesture on my part is only going to make me go the speed limit. And not one mile over it. If I'm at my local bar, I do not want to hear you very loudly complain, bitch and whine. Shut up and drink. If you are a dog owner and you have a poop bag, don't pick up the poop with the bag, then leave the bag on the sidewalk. Man up and carry it home to put in your trash! If you can't control your off-leash dog with your voice, it should be on a leash. There is a reason my dog (who is on a leash) doesn't like bigger dogs - she got nipped by one, so when your mastiff or german shepherd comes bounding up, she plasters herself to my legs because she is scared. Control your dog, dammit, or I'm going to kick yours! If I have coupons and one isn't working right, don't make loud fussy noises while the cashier tries to fix it. You won't make it work any faster with your rudeness. Please stop playing with me when I am driving on the highway. If you slow down, I will pass you in the left lane. That is not a cue for you to speed up, pass me, get in front of me and slow down again. I drive a BMW. I will blow you out of the water, you asshat.

Friday, March 2, 2012

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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Things That Stick in my Craw: People in General

What is it with people? Good lord. I went to put gas in my car yesterday at Cumberland Farms. There are four pumps, two on each side. One car was in the middle of the two and a van was pulled up so that I couldn't reach my gas tank. He just stared at me. Then when I swiped my card upside down, the cashier inside demanded I come inside and prepay. I went in and asked him to reset it and explained I swiped the card the wrong way. He told me I had to prepay with him. I asked him again and said if he would not, then I would go elsewhere. He reset it. I went back out and the van was gone, so I pulled up to the end so that another car could fit in behind me. At least I was polite enough to do that. At the grocery store, I'm pulling slowly out of my parking space and was pretty much out of the space when this huge SUV came roaring up, beeped angrily at me and the driver gave me the finger. Yeah, right, speeding in the parking lot is always a good idea. A couple of weeks ago, a friend from Massachusetts brought her nephew to visit me. I took them to Short Sands Beach to enjoy the video games and such at Funorama, then had lunch at the Goldenrod. As we walked out and around the building, four teenage girls looked at me, what I was wearing and began whispering and giggling, then I heard them say something about me being a tourist. I was wearing turquoise shorts and a tank top. WTF? I deliberately stopped, turned and glared at them. I almost said something, decided not to, but as we walked away I said to my friend very loudly, "Teen girls can be so damned mean these days." She agreed with me. If I'm pushing my grocery cart on the right side of the aisle and you see me coming, don't switch from the left to the right side and force me to go around you. Please don't suddenly stop in the middle of the grocery aisle, then get mad at me when I politely say, "Excuse me." We went to a thrift shop the other day and my husband was looking at something when a woman stood right next to him. He tried to ignore her, then instead of saying "Excuse me" to him, she actually pushed him out of the way and hmphed at him. Then when we left, she was in my way. I said "Exuse me" and she gave me the dirtiest look. He told me he was ready to punch her. If I have coupons, don't start bitching if you're behind me in line. Go to another cash register, asshat. That's all for now.....

Monday, July 4, 2011

Things That Stick In My Craw - Tourists Part Deux

It's tourist season again in our lovely small coastal Maine town. Which means the Massholes, New York Nitwits, Connectitits and Canadiasses are back.

I know tourism drives our town, but do you all have to be such asshats?

If I'm running in the morning with my dog, single file, is it really that hard for the two or three of you to go to single file to let us pass? Of course it is! Force us into the road, which is busy with cars so that we almost get hit several times.

If you're in a road race and running alone, don't take up the whole frelling sidewalk and give me dirty looks because I'm NOT in the road race. Share the sidewalk, you moron.

When our local grocery store puts out sawhorses in front where it already clearly has "NO PARKING" in giant letters, it does NOT mean, park in front of those sawhorses and wait for your lazy ass wife while she shops.

The same goes with parking sideways in two handicap spots when you don't even have a handicap sticker/placard. If your child in his karate uniform can't walk to where you can legitimately park, then you need to put a special helmet on his head and put him on the short bus and get a real handicap sticker.

Don't pull out of your parking spot and then start driving on the wrong side, straight at me, then give me the finger. I can't help it if you got your drivers license in a Cracker Jack box.

When I go to my local stores and the employees who know me say hello (and are genuinely happy to see a local they know) or high five me and we wink or giggle, don't give me a dirty look - or them, either. Yes, we love you're here spending your money in our town, but we have this secret "handshake" that we can't wait for you to leave.

Stop throwing your garbage on the side of the road. Is it really that hard to wait until you get back to your hotel/motel or rental and throw it in the trash? I am SICK of picking up your trash in my yard.

If you stop me to ask for directions and I honestly don't know where you're asking about, don't get ticked off at me and claim I'm just not telling you because you're a tourist. Next time I see you, I'll direct you to get on 95 north and tell you to stop when they start speaking French.

If you're polite to me, I will bend over backwards to help you get to where you want to go - I've pulled my iPhone out of my armband to do a search in Maps for people. All I ask is for a sincere "thank you."

My dog is a Siberian Husky. She is NOT a wolf (good lord, people, she's only 35 pounds, wolves are MUCH bigger and illegal to own as a pet). If your child is afraid of dogs, don't wave me off the sidewalk in anger. You should seriously take the kid to a psychiatrist and find out what the problem is. What are they going to do when they get older and encounter dogs? You can't shelter them forever. Besides, my dog in on a leash, in full control of me. I don't want your brat's dirty hands on her, anyway.

If, however, you ask nicely if you and your kids can pet her, I don't mind. She is an edu-dog (she goes to schools with me to talk to students about cyberbullying), so she gets petted by many kids at once. But do ask first!

Well, I'm glad I got that all off my chest. Have a good 4th of July and don't be asshats!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Things That Stick In My Craw - More Driving Complaints

I swear my Beemer has a "screw with me" bumper sticker that I can't see. My husband is amazed how we travel in my car and how many drivers literally screw with me. Yes, I own a BMW. Get over it.

Going to Portsmouth, NH last week and on the highway. I was in the middle lane and the guy in front of me was going slower than the speed limit. I put on my blinker, moved into the left lane to pass him and what does he do? Speeds up.

Okay.

So I get back behind him and he slows down again.

I said the "F" word, got into the left lane and as this idiot sped up, I stepped on the gas and flew by him. My hubby gave him the finger. I got in front of him and slowed down (no, not to screw with him) set cruise control to a bit over the speed limit.

He rode my bumper for a bit, but finally backed off and went back to his plodding pace.

If you're going slower then the speed limit, please get in the righthand lane.

Pulled into the parking lot at Petco, turned to find a parking spot and a car is coming right at me - on my side. They swerved and actually gave me a dirty look. WTF?

Another time, I pulled into a parking spot at the grocery store at the same time as someone pulled in opposite me. I put my car in park and they were giving me a nasty look, like I was supposed to back out and let them pull through? Hello?

Last night we were in our Jeep (an '84 CJ7) and were pulling into the library parking lot when a small car came flying at us. Parking lots are supposed to be 5 MPH or so (you should go that slow in case someone pulls out of a spot without looking). This guy was going at least 30 MPH - no kidding! My husband had to swerve to avoid getting hit and the guy driving the other car gave *us* the finger. My husband had half a mind to put the Jeep in reverse and run the idiot down. I wouldn't let him.

This morning I was at a stoplight. There was a new BMW M5 convertible in the lane next to me. When I pulled up, he insisted on pulling up a bit more to be ahead of me. At a red light. Ohhhhhh. I'm scared now.

The light turned green and as we both turned in our lanes, he stepped on the gas and took off. Like I'm gonna race him. He ended up taking a left pretty much less than 100 feet from the turn and as I passed him, I yelled, "I'm so impressed."

Why do most people who drive act like such morons? There certainly is no shortage of them on the roads. And why do insist on picking on people who drive Beemers or expensive cars? My car looks new, but it's a 1999, so please folks, find someone else to pick on.

Look! There's a Ferrari, go chase it.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Things That Stick In My Craw - A Little of This, A Little of That

Just general ranting and raving today.

I was in the parking lot of a store, sitting in my parked car, talking to my hubby on my cell phone. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a car headed straight for me. Horizontally. Across empty parking spaces, not in the road behind me. I said to my hubby, "Some old lady is going to hit me!"

At the last minute, she stopped. Not even a foot from my drivers side door. I couldn't believe it. She backed up and corrected her path into the road. WTF?

This is why older folks need to have their drivers test every year once they reach 65. I'm just sayin'.

I purchased a great deal from Groupon.com (if you haven't checked out the site, DO!) I got 3 movie rentals from Redbox (a kiosk at most grocery stores) for just $1 and bought 3 of those so that I got 9 rentals for just $3. Such a deal!

Printed up the first three codes to use while we were out shopping yesterday. Went to rent Despicable Me, put the code in, everything was a-okay and "your DVD is being vended" appeared on the screen. We waited. There were some grinding sounds in the machine. Hubby and I looked at each other. That was not a good sound. It was almost like the DVD was being shredded, not being vended. Waited some more. Still grinding sounds. I called the 1-800 number for Redbox and while on the phone with the guy, the screen suddenly went blank, then an error message that the kiosk was shutting down. So the guy apologized and said he'd email me a new code to replace the one I'd used. Cool!

Went to another store closer to home, put in the second code in. Invalid promo code. Okayyyyy. Redid it and used the third code. Again, Invalid promo code. By this time, I was frustrated and we went home.

Called Redbox and the girl listened to my story and checked my account and said a new code *had* been generated for the one where the DVD never came out, but the guy never emailed it to me. She then typed in the two codes I'd tried to use and she said they came up as valid. WTF?

She told me to just delete those codes and she'd issue me three new ones and emailed them to me while I was on the phone with her. Bless her heart. I got the codes and used one today to rent Megamind. No grinding noises, no error messages. Phew!

Today I went to our local Rite Aid. I'd gotten a promotional email that I could get 30 4x6 color prints for just $3 if I ordered them online, then pick them up in the store. Such a deal! Then I got a coupon for $1 off of two Butterfinger Snackrs, which were on sale for two for $1 at Rite Aid. Hey, you can't beat free, right?

Ordered the prints on the Rite Aid web site. Total there came to $5.70, but I knew they'd replace that with the $3 coupon I had. Or so I thought.

I went to Rite Aid, grabbed two of the Snackrs, then went to the photo register. A girl came and got my envelope of photos and I showed her the coupon. She said she'd take me at the register.

As she went to scan in the envelope, I tried to explain that I had the coupon and it was $3 for the 30 prints, not the price on the envelope, $5.70. She ignored me, scanned the two Snackrz, scanned the coupon so that they were free, then scanned in the $3 coupon and charged me $3 more. She actually told me $9.85 (15 cents tax). I mean, hello? You *did* go to school and pass basic math, didn't you? No, I didn't say that out loud.

I calmly pointed at the coupon and said the prints should have been $3.00, not $5.70, which is why it added $3.00 to the total. She looked totally confused, went to the store manager and came back to tell me it was $3.00 *off* - I said that would mean they would lose money (only 30 cents, but hey). She said no, it was $3.00 off. Okayyyyy.

So she voided the whole transaction and started over. Scanned in the envelope, $5.70, gave me $3.00 off of that, scanned in one Snackrs, looked at the coupon for that and said, "Oh, it's $1.00 off of two of them, so I'll just scan the one."

And promptly charged me 88 cents, then announced I owed her $3.76 instead of the $3.15 it should have been.

I'll break this down for you (and I hate math):

$3.00 for the prints
15 cents tax for the prints
0 for the snackrs
equals $3.15

Instead, she charged me:
$2.70 for the prints
15 cents tax
88 cents for the snackers
equals $3.76

At this point, I was ready to blow up. I just paid the frelling $3.76 and left.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Things That Stick In My Craw - Traveling...Yes, Again

Just got back from a trip where I had to fly from Boston. Which meant I had to take the bus from my area to Logan Airport. I had a prepaid ticket for the bus, so when I got to the station, I asked the guy taking tickets if I had to go inside for anything. I told him I had one bag that I wanted to go in the luggage area. He told me I was all set. So I got in line to have the lady put my bag in and she told me I'd have to go inside to get a tag for the terminal I was flying out of. There was a long line. So I got on the bus with one bag under the seat in front of me and the other on my lap. Not a comfy ride.

Got to the airport. My first flight was on Jetblue. I couldn't get a seat assignment when I checked in - they said they'd give me one at the gate. Okey dokey. Went to gate and handed clerk my ticket for a seat assignment. She told me I'd have to wait until they began boarding. Okey dokey. So some guy goes up and she gives him a seat assignment. What the heck? I stood behind him and she looked at me like she'd never seen me before. Gave me seat assignment.

In the meantime, this guy who was short and in a business suit and looked like a mobster starts bitching about how we should be boarding, yadda yadda yadda.

We finally board and guess who I get to sit next to? Yep, Mr. Bitch. Oh, but it gets better - I'm in the middle seat and on my other side is a woman with a toddler who is going to sit on her lap. The plane was full, or I would have asked to move.

Honestly, I think all parents need to pay for a seat for their child and bring a car seat so that the child is safely buckled in (and can't kick the seat in front of them or cause mayhem).

So, as passengers are boarding the plane, Mr. Bitch, on my left, is complaining *loudly* about how the flight was late, how many people does this plane hold? Etc, etc. I tried to make him laugh by saying it was like one of those clown cars at the circus. He didn't get the joke.

So the flight attendant comes up just as the door was closed on the plane and apologizes to Mr. Bitch for the delay and says he could make it up to him by giving him alcohol. This is at 830 in the morning. So Mr. Bitch gets two little bottles of vodka and OJ. What about me having to put up with Mr. Bitch? Nada! Pfft.

Plane takes off. Toddler starts kicking seat in front of him. Mother does nothing. I plugged my headphones into the armrest to watch TV (thank God Jetblue has that). Toddler keeps looking at me trying to get my attention. I ignore toddler. Toddler hangs on top of seat in front of him. Mother does nothing.

Mr. Bitch is watching TV, so he's not bothering me...yet.

Mr. Bitch gets up to stretch. I take the opportunity to go to the restroom. Get back to my seat. Flight attendant brings two more bottles of vodka and an OJ to Mr. Bitch. Seriously? Is it really a good idea to get this guy drunk?

Mr. Bitch begins talking to me, very drunkenly. About his back, surgeries on his back, how much he is in pain and the alcohol is helping it....

Toddler unplugs my headphones from armrest. I calmly plug them back in. This is a new game for him. He unplugs them again. I plug in. The third time, I leave them unplugged. No apologies from the mother. Toddler begins kicking seat in front of him again.

I'm in airplane hell.

Mr. Bitch tells me how his mother is in assisted living, hates it there, that his brother stole the business from his mother, millions of dollars involved, yadda yadda yadda. Apparently, she was quite the businesswoman and had a haute couture fashion store in Washington, D.C. Her name is Harriet Kassman. Look her up. The son took over the store, closed the couture side and made it a wedding store, put his mom in assisted living. Now Mr. Bitch is going to a lawyer to sue the brother. I think he just wants the money.

Finally, the plane lands. I can't get off fast enough.

My next flight is better - no one sitting next to me. But because of high winds, it is as bumpy as hell and I end up gripping the armrests and gritting my teeth. I need a drink.

Land at the airport, which was the size of the one on the TV show "Wings," if you remember that. One gate for departures, one for arrivals. One airline flies in and out of there.

Called hotel for courtesy van. Comes a half hour later. Ramada Inn. Cheap. Room is clean but everything in it is old and worn out. The tiles in the shower are either bulging out or in. Doors are scarred, missing parts. Tub had someone else's pubic hair in it. Ewwwwwwww.

Checked email, then went down to the bar to have some wine and order dinner. Smoking is still allowed in the bar. Wow. Also has separate room with lottery/keno machines. Ended up talking to some of the locals. One guy who won $300 in the gambling room bought me a drink. Woohoo!

Went back to my room, slept. Woke up at 130 in the morning. Either next door or across the hall is having a very LOUD party. Find my earplugs, go back to sleep. In the morning at 630 am, I wake and turn TV up LOUD. Bastards.

Went to the conference, did my thing. I was told I'd get a check that day. Mortgage is due. No check - it's "in the mail." Great. Like I'm not stressed enough as it is.

Lady who drove me back to my hotel was a maniac driver. I literally was pressing my foot on the floor as a brake. I was glad to be back at the hotel.

Went to the bar again for dinner. It was very good. No complaints.

Next morning, go to take my vitamins. I mix in my lorazepam with the vitamins on purpose. I take it only if I am super stressed or the airplane ride is bad. The maid went through my things. I had four lorazepam. Now there were only two. Bitch. No tip for you!

Have breakfast, van to the airport, get on plane. Woman is sitting in my seat. I politely tell her. She gives me a dirty look, huffs and moves. No one next to me, thank goodness. But a man decides that because no one is next to me, it's okay to put his bag under the seat next to me. Geesuz.

Get off plane to head to shuttle to my gate. Woman in front of me stops dead and I almost run into her. What is wrong with people? I go around her and she moves her bag so that I hit it, then gives me a dirty look. Right back at ya!

Get on connecting flight. Window seat. No one in the middle. Nice, quiet flight.

Landed, waiting to get off plane and run like hell to bus stop so that I don't miss the bus (and have to wait an hour for the next one). Family two rows up stand in the aisle. Apparently, their adorable girl threw up on the seat. The mother presses the call button and asks for napkins. They're handed to her. Father wipes off girl and seat and asks for more napkins. By this time, the front of the plane is empty. Instead of moving out of the aisle and into the front of the seats where his daughter was so that the rest of us can get off the plane, he stays put.

I finally say, "I hate to be rude, but I have a bus to catch. Can you please move?" And I was being nice.

Dirty looks from mom and dad. Tough shit. But they move.

I run like hell. Make it to bus stop. Bus hasn't come yet. Yay!

Get on bus. Watch "Taxi" on the screen they have on the bus. They also have free headphones, water and newspapers. I like this bus. And whatever happened to Randall Carver from "Taxi?" He was the odd one out. Found him at http://randallcarver.com/. Wow. He didn't age well.

Finally home. I hate traveling. And stupid people. And rude people.