Thursday, February 11, 2010

Things That Stick In My Craw - Air Travel

These are the things that stick in my craw about air travel. . .

Airlines - get your frelling act together! Either charge everyone for everything or stop charging extra for what used to be free. US Airways, on the first leg of one of my flights, was charging for *everything* including water, coffee, tea, sodas, juice and pillows/blankets. So when I got on the next flight, I made sure I had a pre-purchased soda with me. Come to find out, the rest of my flights on US Airways provided FREE water, coffee, tea, sodas and juice, plus we got pretzels. And a pillow if we wanted one.

If you're going to charge the average Joe $25 for the first bag, then charge everyone. It got confusing when on one airline I had to pay, then the next I didn't. And if you're going to charge for checked bags, then make people pay if they have to gate check their bags. I almost checked one bag on a recent flight, but decided to carry it on. I had to gate check it. . .for free. WTF? So from now on, I'm carrying on and hoping they gate check it so that I don't have to pay the $25 to have it put in the same damned cargo hold. I mean, hello?

If you're stupid enough to miss your flight, for crissakes, don't take it out on the gate agent across the way. I experienced seeing a woman (who appeared to have been in the bar, if you get my drift) come across the airport to our gate to begin to berate the gate agent that she missed her flight because no one told her the gate changed. The gate agent patiently told this woman an announcement had been made several times. The woman burst into crocodile tears and asked who was going to tuck her children into bed that night and read to them? Then she said how could the gate agents have missed her red hair? The gate agent patiently told her that they don't know what passengers look like, so they wouldn't have been able to flag her down personally. Then the woman cried out, "Who will be with my babies (not children) tonight?" At this point, I called my husband, cracking up, and said next she'd claim she was pregnant and who would explain this to her fetus?

It ended up that three TSA agents and three local cops took this woman away. The rest of us in the gate area had been hoping the woman would start punching someone, but no such luck.

I really wish people would stop rushing up to the gate door when the flight is announced to be ready for boarding. It's like if they get on first, the flight will take off faster. Good lord, people, move away and let the people get on in the order they should be. If you're in Zone 4 and Zone 1 is boarding, move your fat asses. I hate it when I have to weave around people and they get mad at *me* if I bump into them when they're the ones in the darned way.

Next time I'm asked to change seats with a mom who wants to sit with her two kids, I will make sure my new seat is far, far away from them. I was nice enough to do this on a long flight from San Francisco to New Jersey and the boy was right behind me and proceeded to kick my seat for almost the entire flight. I don't care how sweet you think your child is, if they're rude enough to kick the seat in front of them, reach around the seat to grab that passenger (which this kid did and almost grabbed my breast), pull on the seat, put the tray up and down with force and generally can't behave, then you shouldn't be flying with them.

I say the airlines should have flights that are all families/all kids only and let people know when booking about this feature. If I knew I was going to be on a plane with kids, I'd opt for a different flight that was all adults.

That being said, when the flight attendants tell you to NOT use your cell phone in flight, DON'T DO IT. On that same long flight, I had two women in head scarves pull their cell phones out mid-flight and begin texting someone. I shit you not. I was on the window, I had the kid behind me driving me crazy and I knew that if I hit the call button, I'd probably lose it. So I ordered a small bottle of red wine, put my headphones on and listened to Keith Urban, very loudly, until I fell asleep for what little time I could before the kicking ensued again (besides hiding my boobs from that kid's grabby hands).

If you are sick and you can't change your travel plans, please keep a tissue or something over your face while your coughing, sneezing, wheezing and whatever else is coming up. I do not want to catch what you have. Thank god for Airborne. Ever since a friend told me about this years ago, my colds/flu have gone down significantly. I used to get sick *every* time I came home from a trip. Not any more.

If I'm in the middle or window seat and need to use the bathroom, don't get all grumpy on me and make it seem like I'm bothering you. Suck it up and let me pass.

If your bag is too big to fit in the overhead, don't have a conniption fit. You should have gate-checked it or just plain old checked it and paid the frelling $25, you dumbass. You're holding up the flight while you insist on trying to cram your dirty overstuffed undies in the overhead.

If I have earphones in my ears, that means I don't want to be bothered. Period. I don't care how much of a sweet old lady you are.

If you're airport personnel and you can't get the jetway to connect to the plane the first couple of times, please get us off the frelling plane when it's 1 am in the morning and we're all tired and just want to go home. My last flight ended at Manchester, NH airport where the airport personnel just couldn't get the jetway connected to the plane (it wouldn't budge). A half hour later, some idiot got the bright idea to roll some stairs to the plane so that we could get off. Geez, you think? All this time, three TSA officers were watching us through the windows, just as confused as we were (the TSA guys are in the terminal to the right of the jetway):

Now for a stumper - can anyone tell what's wrong with this photo? If you get it right, I'll be so darned proud of you:

Monday, February 1, 2010

Things That Stick In My Craw - Women's Clothing

Why can't sizing on women's clothing be the same? It's so darned confusing at times!

Underwear size is based on what? The underwear company's whim? If I wear size 6 underwear, the 6 is for what? Not the size of my hips, that's for sure.

Bra sizes. Good lord. You know it was a man who invented this whole deal. But at least it's based on the measurement around your chest. Cup size? A, B, C, D, etc. They should have measured that based on fruit size, like one of those commercials on TV. It would make it easier to figure out what cup size you are instead of having to guess, or worse, have a salesperson feel you up.

Dress sizes. They should be the same as your underwear size. I'm just saying. It would definitely make it easier to choose something. And why is it that "designer" sizes are different from department store sizes? When I lived in California, I was a size 6, which translated into a size 8 or 10 when I moved first to Okinawa, Japan (on a military base), then to the east coast. And who came up with size 0?

Why are there no inbetween sizes? I'm between and 8 and 10, so I'm technically a 9. A size 8 is just a bit tight and 10 is a bit loose. I get so darned frustrated trying to find anything that fits me!

And jeans! Don't get me going there. Why is it men's jeans are based on waist size, but women's are based on their dress size? At least base them on our hip size, which would make a lot more sense. And why do some size 8 jeans fit okay, but others don't? Why isn't there a size standard? Where are the jeans police when you need them?

Women's tops. If they're not numbered (like size 6, 8, 10, 12, etc) they're small, medium and large. Ugh. I'm big up top (yes, in the breast area), so I end up buying a large so that it fits properly. But if I buy sweatpants, shorts, etc, I'm a medium. Talk about confusing!

Socks. How in the frell can one sock fit sizes 4-10? Does the person with the smaller foot swim in them? Why can't they have *all* socks be something like 4-6, 6-8, 8-10, etc?

At least shoe sizes are based on the length of your foot and you can use a foot ruler to figure out what size. But then you have to decide what width. Medium is "normal." I have yet to see a small or large shoe size. And lord help you if you have a wide foot. You get a limited selection to choose from, unless you want to go to a specialty shoe store that has Wide shoes, at a higher price, of course.

Bathing suits. Why is it that they are always one or two sizes larger than your dress size? I already hate wearing a bathing suit, don't make me feel worse about myself.

I say we women need to stand up and tell the clothing and shoe manufacturers we're not gonna take it anymore and we want standardization in sizes, dammit!

What sticks in your craw about women's clothing?