I drive a BMW. It's an older one - 10 years old now, but I take good care of it, so it looks new. Please don't play games with me on the highway because you think your car is better than mine or you think I'm a snob because I own a Beemer. I hate it when other drivers get on my ass. I pull over to let them pass, then they pass me, get in front of me and slow way down, forcing me to pass them in the left lane. And the game continues. I usually end up getting in the far right lane and slowing way down to let these numbnuts get far ahead of me. All right, I admit, I have gotten mad enough to take off in a shot and leave them in a dust. Good thing I have a radar detector, eh?
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Don't drive next to me in your little Prius or Mini Cooper or other car that is no match for my Beemer and gun it. I could drive circles around you if I wanted to. But I won't, because I like having a drivers license. Obviously, you do not.
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People who pass me on the right on the highway (or on the shoulder on a two lane road). If I'm in the middle lane on a three lane highway and the speed limit is 65 and I'm going between 70-74 and you feel that I'm not going fast enough and there is no one on either side of me, do NOT pass me on the right. It's not only annoying as hell, but it's dangerous, because I may decide to pull over because you're riding my ass. Then you'll be the one in court dealing with my insurance company.
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When you stop at a stoplight, please make sure you're in back of the crosswalk or the stop line. That's what they're there for - you to stop at a proper distance. I hate it when people stop halfway in the crosswalk, then are upset because pedestrians dare to give them dirty looks as they walk around the front of the car. Or the idiots who pull halfway into the intersection to stop and give the finger to the drivers who have the green light and right of way. Did you get your license in a Cracker Jack box?
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USE YOUR BLINKER! Don't make me slam on my brakes when you decide to take a right or left turn and not use your blinker to let me know, then you get mad at me for blowing my horn at you. Think before you want to take a turn and be courteous to the rest of us on the road who DO care how we drive.
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Don't take up two parking places. I don't care how new or fancy-ass your car is. It is NOT that special. If it is to you, then get a beater car you can park like a normal person, you ass.
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Don't argue with the parking cops. They don't just give out tickets willy-nilly. If your meter expired, you get a ticket; if you park at a fire hydrant, you get a ticket; if you park where it says NO PARKING, you get a ticket. Suck it up and take it like a big man and pay the damned ticket. Then move your car so that I can take the spot (if it's a legal one, that is).
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Don't go below the speed limit. If you do, I will ride your ass like there's no tomorrow. If you can't go the speed limit, get a Segway and stay off the road.
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Don't pass me on a two-lane road, then slow way down because you're an asshole. You don't know me, I don't know you, so why do you do stupid things like that? Oh yeah, you're an asshole.
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When the red light turns green it means GO
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It doesn't take two seconds to say "thank you" to the toll booth operators. You'd be surprised how many are pleasantly surprised that you're being pleasant to them. And to the ones who don't seem to care, believe me, they do. So say "thank you" the next time you have to go through a toll booth.
2 comments:
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What boils my bowels is the guy who parks close to the lines, so I have to park off center in my space. Then he leaves, and I look like the asshole. A little epoxy in the key slot, maybe.
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